Bea Lewis

Photographs can be a frequent focus of competition, says communications expert, Deborah Tannen, author or  "You Were Always Mom's Favorite,'' a book on sibling rivalry. Althoug her book deals with  sisterly rivalry, her discussion of the topic applies to all adult siblings.

Family pictures seem to represent - in a tangible way - attention and even love, Tannen tells us.  Oh how true this is! On my eldest daughter's  recent visit to our house, she informed Ed and me that there were seven pictures of her children, and 11 of her sister's kids. (I coulnd't believe she actually counted the number of photos we keep proudly displayed throughout our home.) 

The photo contest, Tannen explains, ''is an expression of competition, but also of connection; it's tempting to compare pictures because  they are  arrayed together in the same place, just as siblings are compared because they're grouped in the same family.''  

 Knowing this, Ed and I do our best to keep the photos of the kids and grandkids equal. But try as we can to be equal opportunity grandparents, it doesn't always work - as the daughter who complained that there were less of her family's photos than her sisters is because she is less  diligent than others about sending us pictures - and so what we don't have - we can't display!!!