Bea Lewis

Q: My mom has always been independent and lives by herself in another state from me in her large house. My dad passed away two years ago and since then I have been trying to convince her to come live near me and my family. I worry that she could have health issues down the road and will be too far for us to help her. No matter what I suggest, my opinion falls on deaf ears. Is there anything I can do to convince her to move near me?

A: You sound like a loving daughter and your suggestion for her to move while she is in good health is probably a good idea. But she doesn’t seem to want to budge – and there is little you can do to force her. What you could do is work toward making her home safe (guard rails in the bathroom, etc) and find a neighbor (s) nearby in case of emergency to have your contact number. Check that her car is good shape (the tires, the brakes, etc.) and visit her often. Signs that she may be having some problems would include her not having food in the refrigerator or that her in home is in ill repair. Ask her who her friends are and make sure that she is having an active social life with others in the neighborhood. Have a list of her doctors to contact if needed. Also, put Skype in her home and suggest that you be in touch on a regular basis – so you can see if there are any personal changes or problems in her home.