Bea Lewis

It wasn't unusual for parents in earlier generations to panic when their daughters weren't married by their early 20s.

My father, for example, was in a perpetual sweat until I tied the knot at age 24!

Times have certainly changed.

Women today remain single well into their 30s, even early 40s. They are more independent than women of my generation were at their age.

In my day, most women went straight from their parents' home to live with their husband.

Today's young women, with advanced education and budding careers, are able to live on their own without a husband to provide for them.

But that doesn't stop today's parents from putting pressure on their single daughters to marry, which of course bugs the daughters - especially when they might be quite content with their single lifestyle.

That was the case with Amy, a carefree 35-year-old woman with a good job. She was planning to attend a family get-together and e-mailed to ask how to get her relatives to stop pestering her with queries about her love life. (So, are you dating anyone? My friend's brother is a good catch; wouldn't you like to meet him?)

The pressure would be compounded, she said, because her married siblings would be there with their babies, as would her cousins. She didn't want to face a rerun from previous family parties when family members offered unasked-for advice about her unmarried status.

"They don't want to hear that I am happy with my career and that I have a great circle of friends! The truth is I would like to get married and have a family someday, but just not right now. I wish they'd leave me alone,'' she said, "but how can I shut them up without being rude?''

It's typical, I told her, for family members to want to play matchmaker. After all, doesn't the winner get to sit at the bride's table? I would guess Amy's family wants to see her happy - according to their way of life.

Don't take their nudging too seriously, I told her. One way to take the focus off their annoying Cupid-playing tactics is to go prepared to ask the relatives lots of questions about their lives, their children, their hobbies, their jobs, etc. Most folks would like nothing better than to talk about themselves, especially to someone who is a good listener.

Original Article in the Palm Beach Post Living