Bea Lewis

Question: My daughter is in her mid-30s and has never been married. She's had a couple of what I would call "loser'' boyfriends, but recently she met a lovely man who seems to be her cup of tea, so to speak. He has a good job and treats her with great affection and respect.

She appears to be so happy with him, although she's only known him a short time. She was introduced through mutual friends who vouch for his moral values.

She calls me often to keep me informed about her new guy, and I am happy things are going well for her. (Maybe I'll be a grandmother after all!)

I think, but I am not sure, that she asked me to keep it under wraps, but frankly, it was just too good to keep it to myself.

Here's the problem. I told her sister about the new beau and also two of my cousins. We are a close family, and I thought they'd be happy to know.

Now my daughter won't talk to me, and won't even answer my phone calls. She said I couldn't be trusted and if she wanted others to know, she would have told them herself. What mother can keep such good news to herself?

Answer: Not you, clearly. Perhaps you and your daughter would still be on speaking terms if you'd first double-checked as to whether sharing her news was OK. Trust between a parent and a child is imperative for a healthy relationship - or any relationship, for that matter.

Your daughter is right: If she'd wanted her sister or anyone else in the family to know that she was dating someone special, she would have liked to have told them herself. Maybe she is a bit shaky right now about the relationship and doesn't want to talk about it in case the romance doesn't turn into something more permanent.

Just because you say you have a close family doesn't mean that everyone has the right to know your daughter's business, until she is ready to tell them herself - or give you the OK to share her good news.

To get back on track with your daughter, send a note, text message or e-mail her (or leave a voice mail on her telephone) apologizing for talking out of turn.

With time, perhaps she'll regain confidence in you.

Consider this error in judgment a learning experience. Keep your children's confidences to yourself, no matter how much you want to tell other close relatives or friends.

Original Article in the Palm Beach Post Living