Bea Lewis

There are days that I wish my daughters lived closer to me ( like maybe in the next room or even back in my womb.) Those are the days I feel lonely and need the connection to them - to have them be by my side so I can reach out and touch them, know that my nearness to them will keep them safe and secure.  On those days my heart actually aches from wanting them by my side. (Could be the lyrics to a love song, maybe?) 

Just the other day, when I was getting some lunch in Panera's, a little eatery near an elementary school on Boynton Beach Blvd. when  I notiiced a group of young mothers at a table enar by having lunch with their first grade children. My heart sprung a leak - it was crying to have my daughter Kimberly sitting there with her young daughters who are about the same age. For the moment I wondered how they were doing and what they were having for lunch. For the moment I wished they were sitting there in Panera's and in my fantasy I walked over and said hello and sat down and had coffee with them and asked them what was happening in their school that day. Just for the moment.

To ease my sadness, I opted for a croissant instead of whole wheat toast to go with my salad ( no dressing) When I left, my heart still sniffling  from wanting so to be with them, I went looking for my car. I coulnd't remember where I had parked it. Or for that matter, which car did I take- the red one or the SUV?  The midday sun was out in full force and the sweat trickled down my face as I walked up and down the aisles. The more I looked, the more I couldn't remember. That's when I had a change of heart about my daughters living so near to me.

What if, Kimberly was really there and we walked out to the parking lot and she would ask where I was parked and I wouldn't remember?

Where did you park, MOM? I could hear her say in my head. The tone of her voice would be like WHERE DID YOU PARK< MOM??? It would have a little edge to it, like are you getting so old you don't remember where you parked, or maybe it would sound like HOW COULD YOU NOT REMEMBER WHERE YOU PARKED THE CAR? HOW CAN I EVER LEAVE YOU ALONE ANYMORE?? 

Then I found my car. The red one. It was just where I left it. I got in, turned on the air conditioning and radio. Wrapped myself in the seat belt and suddenly I felt so much better. because living with the old folks  who also can't remember where they parked their car - is where I should be. 

And Kimberly is living where she should be - among young  families who have so much in common - like never forgetting where their cars are parked.